Oh good. Just what my kitchen work-top needed. Playing host for the next ten days to a plastic box full of the stinking, bubbling gunk they call Herman. The so-called German friendship cake – inevitably given to you by some joker who would not have given it to you if they really were your friend. The living, breathing batter you must KEEP ALIVE AT ALL COSTS IF YOU DO NOT WANT THE CHAIN TO BREAK AND A DREADFUL CURSE TO BE CAST UPON YOU.
Well, ok, I’m being over-dramatic, but it does stink, it does clutter up your surfaces, and it IS a pain in the arse. However prominently you pin the instructions on your fridge, I GUARANTEE you will not remember to stir it every day, or add what you’re supposed to add to it exactly when you are supposed to. And also – call me churlish – but honestly, I am just NOT going to talk to it. It’s a sourdough batter. How mad would you have to be to try and engage it in a CONVERSATION?
You’ve never had Herman? There can’t be many of you – he’s done the rounds more time than Bradley Wiggins’ pedals. Still, if you really don’t know what I’m talking about, read this: http://www.hermanthegermanfriendshipcake.com/
Anyway, you can stop laughing at the back. In nine days’ time – all being well – I’m going to have four portions of Herman batter to share among my buddies. One of them goes back to the git who foisted it on me in the first place, naturally. But there’ll be three others. Keep a low profile, local friends. I could be knocking on your door very soon…
PS: If you CAN be bothered to go all the way with your Herman mix, it does actually taste very nice once baked. Especially if you put chocolate chips in it.
PPS: To the dear friend who brought me the box of Herman. I’m only joking.