A follow-up to Pregnancy for Modern Girls, this is a down-to-earth look at the first year of life after birth: good, bad, and ugly.
It offers tons of practical, guilt-free guidance to first-timers and, with loads of glorious, gritty input from a panel of real mums, it really does tell it like it is.
Due to be published in July 2012 by White Ladder Press.
Pre-order a copy here >
Here’s a sneak preview of the new book!
Try not to expect fireworks when you re-ignite your love life after birth. For most women, the first time after birth is more of an experimental shag than anything else; a chance to work out whether you’re still in one piece or not. And yes, it certainly can feel a bit weird and frankly, not that great when you first try, and perhaps for several subsequent tries afterwards. Lots of new mums report feeling ‘a bit different down there’, or that was ‘odd’ or ‘not like it used to be’. This will almost certainly be temporary – and it’s very common.
It might help not to build it up too much: don’t plan for a big, candlelit love-fest, just grab the first chance that arises. A glass of wine can be useful if you’re tense, but don’t have more than that because too much booze can be de-sensitising. And get your timing right – make sure your baby is well fed and fast asleep, or better still, enjoying a couple of hours’ quality time with his grandparents. If you’re breastfeeding and self-conscious about leakage issues, it would make sense to schedule in sex after feeding when your boobs are as empty as possible.
If you’ve got body image issues, don’t feel ashamed to keep some clothing on: preferably something vaguely sexy, though, not one of his old t-shirts. A bit of fabric can also provide a useful barrier against sore nipples and leaking (you might even want to make like the Sex and the City girls, and keep your bra on. You could also stuff in some breast pads.)
Remind yourself, if you’re worried about the way you look, that your body’s done an amazing thing: try taking a look at it in the mirror, and appreciating its finer points. Have a look – and a little feel, too – if your new-look vagina’s worrying you. Chances are it won’t be nearly as much of a mess as you think. And even if it does look different, remember that it’s a small adjustment to make, in the scheme of things, for both of you.